How Body Language Builds Emotional Intimacy in Relationships: Insights from Therapist Patricia Bathurst, LMFT
How does body language impact emotional intimacy and relationship dynamics, according to therapist Patricia Bathurst, LMFT?
Patricia Bathurst is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) working at The Oasis Addiction Treatment Center in California. She provides therapeutic services for individuals dealing with a range of issues including addiction, trauma, anxiety, depression, relationship conflict, dual diagnosis, and LGBTQ+ issues. Her approach integrates evidence-based practices with compassionate support tailored to life transitions, grief, self-esteem, and emotional regulation. She highlights the importance of body language in emotional intimacy, addressing cues of unresolved tension, gender differences, rebuilding trust, and the challenges posed by digital communication.
Scott Douglas Jacobsen: How does body language contribute to emotional intimacy?
Patricia Bathurst: Body language contributes significantly to emotional intimacy. Soft eye contact, a gentle touch on the arm, or simply leaning in close to someone while listening to them speak can all create a sense of closeness with another human being.
Jacobsen: What are nonverbal cues showing unresolved tension in couples?
Bathurst: The nonverbal cues that are related to unresolved tension include physical distance. A person may cross their arms, avoid eye contact with their partner, or turn away while their partner is speaking.
Sometimes the signs are quite small, though. A person may not realize that they are communicating their tension via their body language.
Jacobsen: How do you help them become aware of their body language with their partner?
Bathurst: I often ask them to pay attention to their body language. Most people don’t really pay much attention to it. Awareness is the first step in making a change.
Jacobsen: What examples of body language reflect trust and emotional safety?
Bathurst: Body language that reflects emotional safety and trust includes leaning in towards somebody during conversation and making eye contact with them. Smiling at them is another big one.
Jacobsen: Are there notable gender differences in body language interpretation in romantic contexts?
Bathurst: Yes, there are sometimes differences between genders when it comes to body language. That’s because men and women are socialized differently. Men tend to have less expressive non-verbal body language compared to women.
Jacobsen: How can couples rebuild emotional connection when body language starts showing detachment?
Bathurst: First, have an open and honest conversation about the need to build an emotional connection via body language. Then, start small. Focus on things like making eye contact and holding hands.
Jacobsen: What is the role of past relationship experience in shaping a person’s romantic body language?
Bathurst: Past experiences can shape body language significantly. A person may be guarded physically if they have experienced betrayal or other negative past experiences.
Jacobsen: How might digital communication affect a couple’s ability to respond to body language?
Bathurst: Digital communication removes the majority of body language. Although this is still expressed somewhat through videos, like TikTok and Reels, it still doesn't replace face-to-face contact. It’s easy for things to be misinterpreted on social media, even when you can see the person on the screen.
Jacobsen: Thank you for the opportunity and your time, Patricia.
Scott Douglas Jacobsen is a Writer and Editor for A Further Inquiry. He is the publisher of In-Sight Publishing (ISBN: 978-1-0692343) and Editor-in-Chief of In-Sight: Interviews (ISSN: 2369-6885). He writes for The Good Men Project, International Policy Digest (ISSN: 2332–9416), The Humanist (Print: ISSN 0018-7399; Online: ISSN 2163-3576), Basic Income Earth Network (UK Registered Charity 1177066), and other media. He is a member in good standing of numerous media organizations.
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